Finding Myself

Midnight strikes...

my guitar sits in a corner
awaiting for my hands
as I stared blindly at my TV
here, in my room,
where traces of your scent
still stirs me from sleep.

One of these nights,
I shall pick up my guitar again,
cradle it again
and sing my songs again
...be alive again.

But not tonight.
tonight is not for love songs
not for poetry.

Tonight is not about you
not about the pain
not about the heartache.

It's about me
drowning memories of you
with every shot of vodka.

It's about me
finding myself again
loving myself again.

and for the first time,
in oh so many nights,
a smile appeared on the mirror.

because for the first time,
I am myself again.
Without you,
without the love songs,
without the poetry.

Alone, yes,
...but not lonely.